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GLOB5-min read

The Scattered Family: Parenting, African Migrants, and Global Inequality

By Cati Coe

#Transnational Families#Migration#Fosterage#Distributed Care#Global Inequality#Ghanaian Culture

Section 1: Analysis & Insights

Executive Summary​

Thesis: The "Scattered Family" (migrant parents abroad, children back home) is not a broken family but a creative adaptation of traditional Ghanaian kinship repertoires to the harsh realities of global capitalism and US immigration law. Coe reframes "Fosterage" (leaving children with relatives) not as abandonment, but as a strategic move to secure the child's future through remittances and education.

Unique Contribution: This is an anthropological defense of Distributed Care. Western psychology insists on the physical presence of the mother as the only valid form of care ("Attachment Theory"). Coe shows that in Ghana, provision is a love language. Migrant mothers are "good mothers" precisely because they leave to earn the money that feeds and educates the child.

Target Outcome: Understanding that "Family" is flexible. A parent can be emotionally present while physically distant. Care can be distributed across a network (Grandma, Auntie, Migrant Mom) without damaging the child, provided the network is stable.

Chapter Breakdown​

  • The Repertoire: How traditional fosterage prepared Ghanaians for migration.
  • The Departure: The painful decision to leave for the sake of the child.
  • The Separation: maintaining connection through remittances and calls.
  • The Reunion: The complex (and often difficult) process of bringing children to the US.
  • The System: How US laws force these separations.

Nuanced Main Topics​

Materiality of Care​

In the West, money is "cold" and love is "warm." In this context, money is warm. Paying school fees, sending barrels of clothes, and building a house are the tangible proofs of love. The child understands: "Mom isn't here, but Mom is why I am eating/learning." Coe warns against judging this through a Western lens that dismisses material provision as "buying love."

The "Repertoire"​

Ghanaians have a "cultural toolkit" (repertoire) that includes fostering children out to relatives for training/discipline. Migration activates this existing tool. It’s not a new trauma; it’s a scaled-up version of an old practice. This cultural familiarity provides a buffer (resilience) that Western families might lack if separated.

US policy claims to value "Family Reunification," yet defines family strictly as "Nuclear" (Mom-Dad-Child). It ignores the Extended Family network that actually raises the child. This mismatch forces Ghanaians to break their real families (leave kids with Grandmas who have no legal rights) to fit the US legal paper-family.

Section 2: Actionable Framework

The Checklist​

  • The Narrative: Does the child know why the parent is away? (Reframed as sacrifice for their future).
  • The "Remittance" Talk: Explain that the gifts are "love," not just stuff.
  • Caregiver Respect: Does the distant parent publicly back the authority of the local caregiver?
  • Consistency: Are calls/money predictable? (Unpredictability creates anxiety).

Implementation Steps (Process)​

Process 1: The "Digital Hearth" (Connection)​

Purpose: Maintain presence.

Steps:

  1. Routine: Same time every week. Sunday 4 PM.
  2. Content: Don't just ask "Did you behave?" Ask "What did you eat? What game did you play?" (The trivial details create intimacy).
  3. The "Third Object": Watch a show "together" (separately) and talk about it.

Process 2: Managing the Caregiver Relationship​

Purpose: Stability for the child.

Steps:

  1. United Front: Never criticize the Grandma/Auntie to the child.
  2. Gratitude: Send specific gifts/money for the caregiver, not just the child. Acknowledges their labor.
  3. Role Clarity: "Grandma is the boss when you are there. You listen to her like you listen to me."

Process 3: The Reunion Preparation​

Purpose: Minimize culture shock.

Steps:

  1. Demystify the West: "America is not heaven. People work hard here. You will have chores." (Lower expectations).
  2. Bridge the Gap: Send photos of the apartment/school before they come.
  3. The Transition: when they arrive, expect a period of "stranger" dynamics. Don't force immediate intimacy.

Common Pitfalls​

  • The "Barrel" Trap: Sending too many consumer goods to compensate for guilt. (Creates a transactional relationship).
  • Surprise Reunion: Springing the move on the child. (They need to say goodbye to their caregivers properly).
  • Ignoring the Caregiver's Grief: Tearing the child away from the Grandma who raised them without acknowledging her loss.